Standing here solidly on my own two hands and going crazy

On Monday Jack, Mum and Jen went to London for three days. We don't usually tell Jack he's going anywhere until the morning of, but on Sunday he broke down in tears because he thought we'd forgotten about his birthday, so we told him about the London trip and I gave him the BBC tickets.
Fortunately Jack managed to get some sleep that night, because when they got back on the Wednesday evening Mum and Jack were in a pretty bad state, Mum recons they got about 3 hours sleep over the two nights. Despite this Jack did not sleep on Wednesday night either, not during Thursday. He was literally shaking, an so violently that he couldn't sleep.

So, midnight on Thursday I had to drive Jack and Mum down to the local hospital. Doctor gave him some tablets and we went home.
The Doctor had said Jack should have 3 tablets, and if he still didn't sleep, another. However when we got home it turned out there were only two in the box.
Sooooo, 5.30am, Mum comes in, wakes me up and sends me and Jen back out to the hospital, in the ice and fog to get more tablets.
Brr.

Wednesday was also Graduation, so Dad and I drove over to Lancaster to do that. I hated having to do Graduation last year, and put it down to having fouled up my final year, so when I passed my MA I determined to do this one properly (...even though I fouled up my thesis).
However, I got there and again it just made me really uncomfortable and angry all over again. I don't know what it is precisely but I really hate Graduation. I hate the fuss, the conspicuousness and find the experience really claustrophobic. These are the same reasons I want no one at my Wedding, and no silly dress. It makes me so relieved that I'm not doing a PhD! lol
However, I did get to see friends and catch up, so that was nice.

The BBC have released a preview of David Tennant's Hamlet, it's only just over a minute long, but I'm so excited! It looks like they've tried to keep very much to the spirit of the stage production, the set looks similar, and the acting looks stage-acting rather than tv-acting.



There is going to be so much David Tennant on tv over Christmas it's insane

I PASSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I GOT 68!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A MERIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I AM GOBSMACKED, I REALLY THOUGHT I'D SCRAPE A PASS IF I WAS LUCKY. EVEN AT THE BEGINNING OF THE YEAR WHEN I MADE MY RESOLUTIONS THE BEST I HOPED FOR WAS BETWEEN 60-65

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHH!

LOL

TINY PART OF ME IS LIKE, 'DAMNIT, IF YOU'D ORGANIZED YOUR TIME BETTER YOU'D'VE GOT A DISTINCTION'
ANOTHER TINY PART OF ME THINKS SOMEONE MADE A MISTAKE
...AND ANOTHER TINY PART THINKS IT REALLY WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH....

BUT THE REST OF ME IS:

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The end

I am now absolutely sure that I do not want to work in the shop for the rest of my life. It's not that it's bad per say, just unutterably dull, especially as all I do is stand at the counter for 8 hours, not daring to move out from behind the till unless it is to show a customer where a particular card is, for fear that Wendy (our manager) will yell at me for doing whatever it is I'm doing wrong.
Anyhoo, life in the shop isn't really as bad as I make it sound, it's just that we're in a slow patch at the moment. Things will pick up next week when we put the Christmas cards and decorations out. The good thing about working in a small shop in a small town is that the customers are pleasant, chatty, and don't care if the elderly lady in front of them can't find her purse then starts chatting to me about the weather and gets distracted.
I spent a lot of today talking about the weather because it was FOGGY. Lots of pleasant grumbling about that from the customers while I bounced around gleefully because fog makes me happy (and I didn't have to drive home)

My crazy uncle is visiting at the moment, and this evening a distant cousin my mum has adopted came for a visit. He and his wife have been here a few times since August as they have moved from the South to Thirsk to do their University placements. They're both lovely, but my shyness usually kicks in, however, this time I managed a proper conversations, jokes and everything! Turns out, he and Terry Pratchett are email buddies, and Pratchett gave him an entire set of signed first editions. I almost died. THEN the conversation moved on to 'famous people we've met' (me = 0). Turns out? My crazy uncle photographed Stephen Fry back in the day (Crazy uncle used to be a photographer, must stress, not stalker.). This has never been mentioned in my presence before.

While dropping distant-cousin (Adam) off in Thirsk I took the opportunity to hand my details in to the volunteer run cinema there, in case they need more volunteers. If I get to volunteer there it would only be box office or ushering, but still! One foot in the door, and I might start looking for training courses on film projection. On Friday I will also be doing the rounds of the local charity shops, see if they need volunteers.

I got a letter about the return of my university deposit today, turns out I am only getting charged about £23, which is amazing. I thought I'd never see any of that £190 again considering the mess my flatmates apparently left the kitchen in (we are getting charged £7.50 each for removal of rubbish- that adds up to £45 altogether - I don't even want to know what they left behind). I am absolving myself from blame because I cleaned the oven and my fridge, freezer and cupboards before I left, took out the rubbish and recycling last time I was there, and because despite the ALL USING the recycling box, and having posted signs in the kitchen, no one else but me ever emptied it, even when the kitchen floor around it was covered in boxes and bottles.

So I have used some of that money to buy myself a RECORD PLAYER. Oh yes.

I have a slight stomach ache today, and am using that as justification for spending the day lounging in, and on, my bed. So to ensure the day has not simply been one of delicious Sunday-laziness I am determined to blog and finish 'Our Mutual Friend'. Here goes task one;


Due to catastrophes of my own making, my dissertation was not handed on the 11th, but the 18th. On the 12th of September I left Lancaster and went home to finish it, intending to drive over on the 18th and hand it in. Finished the dissertation at, oh, 10am on the 18th and my dad, my sister and I set off for Lancaster, to hand it in and pack up my room.

Fair enough.

However, by the time we were an hour from home I started feeling really ill. I'd stayed up all night to finish the diss so had had no sleep. I'm pretty used to this and had planned to sleep in the car, but I couldn't. Every mile or so dad had to stop the car while I got out wrapped in a duvet and paced up and down for a few minutes. In the end we drove back to the nearest town and I went to a hotel to sleep until my mum could drive over to pick me up. This meant dad and Jen had to drive over to Lancaster, hand my dissertation in and pack and clean my room. Obviously I have the best family ever and am so grateful, but between not being there to clean my room myself, and the appalling messiness of my flatmates I do not anticipate getting my deposit back.

A week later I was back in Lancaster for the day as David Starkey was giving a lecture on Henry VIII. Got to say goodbye to the University properly which was super, bought a sweatshirt and as I drove out of the gates even my ipod got emotional and played a succession of songs like Grace Kelly and Let's Misbehave which reminded me of all the good times.

Anyhoo, the lecture was awesome. Since both my 6th form and University curriculum's were pretty much dominated by the Tudors I've seen all of Dr Starkey's documentaries so was quite fangirl-ish over getting to see him lecture (Live! *jazzhands*). Freshers week hadn't started so the audience was full of kids from the Grammar Schools, post-grads and faculty. The lecture was surprisingly funny, and full of barbed references to The Tudors.
After the lecture finished one of my professors from Third Year asked a question, and I got all excited when Dr Starkey addressed him by name, told him 'you're wrong' and said they'd carry on the conversation later. This excitement increased when my dissertation tutor got up to give the closing remarks and thank Dr Starkey. I already knew they knew each other, but didn't know they were friends and had been research students together at Cambridge. However, this excitement was mingled with a little panic seeing as my dissertation had been handed in late and crap, and I was on the edge of a row and practically facing him head on. I tried to look invisible, but I don't think he'd even recognize me anyway, I only saw him for 10 minutes altogether throughout the entire year.

So, now am just working in the shop, hating it, and awaiting the phonecall from the University telling me that I have failed my dissertation. In addition I am supposed to sign up for graduation before I know if I passed or failed, arrrrgh. I suppose I had to do the same at the end of the B.A, but I don't remember. Hate. Hate. Hate!

When my ipod died I lost a lot of my favourite poetry readings *cough:nerd*,and I've just had a look for some of them on youtube. Alas i did not find them, but I did find this;



I used to adore this poem in my melodrama phase, but overall I've never really been a Keats fan, 'St Agnes' Eve'  bored me to tears**. But on the other hand; Robert Donat!!


** 'To Autumn' is my poem though.

Hmmm, today I spent several hours working on my user info page, and wrote 20 words of my thesis.

Clearly my priorities need recalibrating

....I need this:



this...


and these...


you have 24 hours, make it happen

Reminder to self. Next time you go puddle jumping don't wear a skirt or canvas shoes.
If you are stupid enough to go out in a skirt and thin tights (...again), at least wait till your hands and legs regain their normal temperature before you dive in the shower. Ow.


I'd love to get married in a rain storm (...this may be impractical... for several reasons)
If necessary, I'd settle for this....

Rats!

I'm sleepy (for a change) and want to go to bed, but I just set my hair and am scared of messing it up if I go to sleep :/

So, it's my 23rd Birthday in three weeks (oh crumbs!), which means it's time to decide what to do.

I can either have a movie night, and force everyone to watch an excellent old movie (for their own good of course), or have a night out on the town-and-sugarhouse.

If I have a night out should it be fancy-dress or going out clothes?

If it's fancy dress what/who should I go as?

Options:
Miss Piggy
Pamela from 'the Thirty-Nine Steps' (complete with handcuffs)
Blair Waldorf
Emma Peel

 Or something/someone else? After all, they're all a little.....ummm....egotistical, and probably difficult to guess (except the Miss Piggy one)

Gahhhhhhh.....thank goodness birthday's are only once a year!


Ok, now I have to post this as well....

I haz pizza, brownies, diet coke, the BBC production of 'Victoria and Albert', and the happy knowledge that while I may be a glutton right now, at least I did an hour and a half in the gym this afternoon.

Life is perfect

Whew, I spent 5 hours in a freezing cold basement today watching films. I saw 'The Iron Duke' and 'The Wandering Jew'. Both of which had me in hysterics because some of the techniques they used are now just such laughable cliches.
In 'The Iron Duke' Wellington announced the escape of Napoleon from Elba and everyone in the room went '....whAAAT?'
'The Wandering Jew' was split into about four acts, each of which began with a voice-over man intonating something, like 'to each his destiny and his fate. We are all wanderers between the furrow and the stars' (a quotation perhaps?). The premise of the film is that a Jew in Jerusalem in 0AD spat on Jesus and was cursed. But they were not allowed to 'show' Jesus so he was kept off screen and when he spoke there was no sound, the words merely appeared on screen like in a silent film, and then another character would repeat it; such as 'What did he say? I will not wait for you, but you shall wait for me? Hmmm!'

Then this evening Uncle Leon and I went to the theatre to see 'The Thirty-Nine Steps'. I was really tired and couldn't really be bothered, but I am so glad I went! It followed the story of Hitchcock's film rather than Buchan's original novel, but it was really fun and creative. There were only 4 actors, one played Hannay, one played the three female roles, leaving the other two men to play all the other roles. This worked really well and was hilarious, especially when they were trying to play four roles at once (two commercial travellers on a train, a policeman and a newspaper vendor) as they just kept switching hats.
In addition, they were really creative with the staging and props. To show that Hannay was at a train station a tiny little train ran along the front of the stage, and they used shadow puppets!!!!!!! :D Plus there were loads of references to other Hitchcock films :D... and, I think, a Hitchcock cameo.
Oh, oh, oh! And at the end, all four actors were on stage, and an arm came out from behind the curtain and shot one of the characters, who then looked confused and said 'there's only meant to be four in the cast!', before dying.

Home tomorrow! Yay!

I am listening to a programme on BBC iplayer, and it's by my tutor, at least I *think* it is. The voice is a bit rounder and jollier, though the programme is a repeat which  of a show originally broadcast in 1998, so that might account for it.... wait, he's just mentioned a 1930s film star, it's definately him, lol.
I know it's not unusual for professional and respected historians to be on the radio or tv, especially if, like my tutor, they are experts and pretty much the first in their field, but I still get excited and feel really unworthy of having such a prestigeous tutor.

Anyhoo, I'm in London....again (ooh, I just took my glasses off and I've gone all dizzy. *blinks*). Mum, Jack and I are at a hotel near Euston, it's not fancy, but atleast I'm not sharing a room and bathroom with 20 other people.
I wanted to order the media package which would give me access to movies and the internet, but the interactive part of my TV wasn't working, so after a couple of hours of trying to fix it, the hotel moved me to another room. I switched the new TV on, and it the interactive menu flashed up, then off! Fortunately it's ok now, so when I'm done here I'm going to curl up with my work and watch 'Yes Man'.

This morning I was at the BFI watching 'The Four Just Men', which was a really good film, it sucks that it's unavailable (except on American VHS). The film was just that, on 35mm film, so every 15 minutes the attendant had to change the reels for me. Fortunately it was a short film, 'Gone With the Wind' would have been 39 reels! Whew!
After the BFI I joined up with mum and Jack and we went to this huge new shopping centre Jack's been excited about. It was cool because that had a MAC and Hollister, so I got a zip up sweater and the Primer and lipstick I've been wanting, yay! The shopping centre kind of sucked though. It was characterless and very upmarket. They had a Tiffany's, de Beers and everything *pulls face* and the food was mostly sushi and lebanesse.
We were only there for a couple of hours because last night, just as Jack was heading off to sleep a fire alarm went off, really loudly. It only lasted a few seconds but Jack kept shaking, and didn't get to sleep till about 3am, which meant mum didn't either. And Jack got up at 7am. Whew.

I am incapable of going to bed at a sensible time.
It's 3.30am, I have to be up in less than 6 hours to go to London, and I'm going to watch another episode of 90210

Charlotte-if you read this, you'd better ring me sometime between 9-10am! lol

I went out last night for drinks with the other four girls on my history MA course, which was nice. We were celebrating the engagement of one of them, when another announced she's getting married in August!
This whole 'growing up' thing is getting far too real. That now makes four people I know that are engaged (all separately), in addition to another who is having a baby, not to mention all the people with serious jobs or PHD plans.
I still feel about 16 in terms of this level of maturity and life-choice. I haven't made any plans for next year, or even really thought about anything beyond Christmas.

 :/

I haven't written a word of my dissertation yet, and I'm enjoying this year so very much,
...but...
I keep looking forward to September. I'm planning holidays (Scotland in Autumn! Rain! Wind! Joy!!), and making lists of books to read (or reread), and planning days and days of laziness (career be damned).

Only 6 more months of constant focus!!! *immediately gets fidgety*

I seem to be sabotaging myself over this damned essay.
Yesterday I couldn't write for sneezing, and then I got in this evening in a glorious mood, had my tea....and then spent an hour in the bathroom being sick :(

Fortunatly I seem to be ok now, so fingers crossed, I'm going to get 1500 words done!!!

But first.....

I love this song, but it's not on itunes or spotify *sad face*

*sigh*
I have a massive pile of work on the floor besides me. It is the pile of work I have done this holiday. Alas, the 'to do' pile on the other side of me is still larger. On top of those, I have a 4,500 word essay to do, and I wanted 5,000 words of my dissertation done. *grumble*

I am also planning my next, and absolutely final trip to London. I have appointments at the BFI from Monday 27th til Thursday 30th April then I am done. I don't think there is anything left to read about these films. Mum and Jack are planning to go to London that same week. Jack is desperate to see some new shopping centre in London, this means we'll probably all stay in, wait for it, a hotel. this is exciting to me not just because of the hostels of previous visits, but because I haven't stayed in a hotel since I was about 6. I am so freakin excited. It's not going to be posh, just an Ibis, and it might not happen, I might end up staying in the hostel again but I am being optomistic with every bone in my body and hair on my head. It will suck for mum though, which I feel rotten about. She'll have to look after Jack for 5 days, but I'll get through my stuff at the BFI as quick as possible and do duty in the evenings so she can go and relax. But OMG! A Hotel!

Ugh, I am trying to write 4,500 words about the cinema space for social history. Which means writing 4,500 words about how those pesky, meddling middle classes tried to use the cinema to impose their will upon the poor, beleaguered working classes. I hate social history :/ On the plus side: last essay I will ever have to write (not counting the 30,000 word diss.)

This totally made my day though: I've watched it like four times today, watch it all!!!

Dude, I'm like two electronic degrees from Daniel Day-Lewis.

I've been emailing Jonathan Balcon, son of Michael Balcon, head of Production at Gaumont-British and Ealing Studios.
Jonathan's sister was (is?) Jill Balcon, who married Cecil Day-Lewis (former poet laureate!).
Their son is Daniel Day-Lewis

:D

[/lameness]